Mel's Filk

Mel Tatum's Filk Lyrics

I Count to Ten July 2, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — melissaltatum @ 10:46 am

I Count to Ten
lyrics by Mel Tatum
tto: Margaritaville

This song is one of those “cathartic” filks, written to work through my reactions to finding out, when I went to close my tab at a hotel bar one Saturday night, that the bartenders had lost my credit card. The bartenders handled the discovery very well (ie, they apologized and waived my tab) but I wasn’t real happy. I promptly went to my room to cancel the card, only to find out that the credit card company’s computers were down for 24 hours for maintenance, and they could take a paper report, but could not put a stop on the card. By that point, sleep was so not happening, and I decided a little filk therapy was in order – and thus this song was born.

Had a great evenin’
Time to be leavin’
Head to the bar to settle my bill
Bartender tells me
I make her repeat
“Ma’am, I’m sorry we have lost your card.”

I count to 10 again while they search the bar
lookin’ for my lost credit card
bartender swears it’s just an oversight
I don’t care –
I’m really pissed off.

Okay, I give up.
It’s not gonna show up
It’s time to call and cancel the card
Wouldn’t you know it
System is broken
“Ma’am, I’m sorry, we can’t take your call.”

I count to 10 again while they transfer me
cancelin’ my lost credit card
Fraud alert says I won’t be liable
I don’t care –
I’m really pissed off.

I have no plastic
I’m waitin’ on Fed Ex
They’re gonna bring my new credit card
but in the meantime
I’ll have a good time
I’m plotting and planning revenge oh so sweet

I count to 10 again as I write this song
documenting my lost credit card
If you should drink at a Radisson bar
Don’t run a tab
on your credit card.

If you should drink at a Radisson bar
Don’t run a tab
on your credit card

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