Mel's Filk

Mel Tatum's Filk Lyrics

Urban Legend June 19, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — melissaltatum @ 12:42 am

Urban Legend
lyrics by Mel Tatum
tto:  Brooke Lunderville’s The Wreck of the Crash of the Easthill Mining Disaster
 

Let me tell you the story, and I swear that it’s true,
of the six drunken frat boys who needed to pee

They were hazing new pledges out near the train track,
so a bathroom was certainly something they lacked
Their urine streams hit direct on the third rail,
as they stood shocked and buzzing the train whistle wailed

Let me tell you the story, and I swear that it’s true,
of the newly flat penny and the six drunken frat boys who needed to pee

Two daring children were breaking curfew,
so they could flatten their pennies that were shiny and new
the train hit the coins and without warning it soared,
straight into the van with a family on board

Let me tell you the story, and I swear that it’s true,
of the tiny babe trapped in the car, newly flat penny and the six drunken frat boys who needed to pee

The family was headed home from Gran’s birthday,
when a train came from nowhere, much to their dismay
the rescuers they dug out the mom and the dad.
and the next day they found something terribly sad

Let me tell you the story, and I swear that it’s true,
of the fireman’s invention, tiny babe trapped in the car, newly flat penny, and the six drunken frat boys who needed to pee

That fireman was checking his report to complete,
when he found the babe hidden underneath the back seat
It survived the train crash but it died of the cold,
Baby on Board signs were born, millions were sold

Let me tell you the story, and I swear that it’s true,
of the Baby on Board signs, fireman’s invention, tiny babe trapped in the car, newly flat penny, and the six drunken frat boys who needed to pee

The signs were intended to save children’s lives,
and alert rescue crews who at crash scenes arrive
so that never again would babes be ignored,
but instead people laughed and made signs casting scorn

they said Baby is Driving
And they said Husband is in Trunk
And they said Baby is Closer than it Appears

And suddenly a man found a use for orange kittens and those leftover suction cup doohickeys creating a brand new cottage industry whose unlikely social repercussions triggered a really stupid new fad!
Ohhhhh!

And that was the story, the urban legend … of the Garfield-covered passenger side windows, the yellow baby parody sign things, Baby on Board signs, fireman’s invention, tiny babe trapped in the car, newly flat penny, and the six drunken frat boys who needed to pee

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